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Believe it or not there was a time when I could have been considered a feminist.  No, seriously.  Ok, stop laughing, I can be sensitive too.  I mean I would have balked at acknowledging my feminist ways.  Afterall I'm a guy and that kind of stuff is for girls.  Regardless I strongly believed that men and women were equal and that any disparaties between us could (mostly) be written off as cultural in origin as opposed to some genetic predisposition.  Everything being equal, a woman could do anything a man could.  Boy was I dumb.

I have of course come to realize, as all men eventually do, that in fact all women are insane.  Insanity doesn't invalidate the equality argument, but as far as I'm concerned the point is moot.  Who cares if they could be equal with men.  They're nuts!  You really want to work with people who are nuts??

I could go through a long story of how I was turned to the sexist side and the various people who've annoyed me along the way.  But that would be long, boring and unfunny.  And I'm all about the funny.  Mostly.  Well, I try to be anyway.  Instead I'll follow the lead of every other blogger on earth (see I Hate You Dave Winer).  In other words I'll throw out some arbitrary and unconvincing evidence, act like this proves everything and then rant about it for a bit.  Should be fun.

Consider for a moment the argument usually used on guys when losing patience with women.  "Men are logical and rational; Women are intuitive and emotional."  Yeah, I have feelings too.  I do my best to suppress them like any other real man.  But most importantly what I don't do is base my decisions on those emotions.  Seriously, what kind of yahoo sides with emotion over logic?  Logic says: "If I cop a feel I will put my victim in distress and may even end up in jail.  I don't want that so I'll avoid such behavior."  Emotion says: "Boy these feel nice."  Do we really need to discuss which is the better choice?

You know who else bases their decisions on how they feel?  Psychotics!!  That's right, I said it.  Women are psychotic.  Most men have known this for quite some time, but they like sex and so pretend they don't notice.  Heck, it's practically a rite of passage to finally learn the secret truth of womankind (i.e., they're nuts).  Think about it.  How often have you had a woman get mad at you for something she does regularly (like avoid taking out the trash)?  How often has a women been annoyed at you for being grumpy after a bad day even though you have to deal with her extra crazy act for at least a week out of every month? (Crimson Tide is not just a submarine movie)  How often have you been told you're not "respecting her opinion" when in fact you're simply disagreeing with it?  Ok, maybe I shouldn't have patted her on the head and told her to go look pretty.  But still, I was totally right.

Here's something else to consider.  We've established that women are psychotic, but do you know who else was psychotic?  Hitler.  Yep, Satan's life partner himself.  I am now convinced that women and Hitler are connected in some way.  My intuition says that Hitler must have been spawned by women somehow, but that's woman talk.  For a while I thought that Hitler must actually have been a crossdressing woman.  Think about it.  1) He regularly said one thing and did another ("I swear I won't invade Poland!").  2) He blamed all his problems on someone else (i.e., the jews).  3) He thought he could cheat and get away with it (Silly Hitler, eastern Europe is for Russia).  Even the mustache can be explained away (German, duh).  But you don't really see too many women balding, do you?  I figure he must have been the result of a man and woman getting together to create some sort of hybrid human being.  All the bad traits of a woman with the ability of a man to actually get things done.

Ok, enough of that.  If you haven't yet realized the cuckoo nature of women then you're probably some geek living in a basement playing D&D as a female character.  Seriously, use Adult Friendfinder like the rest of us.

So to sum up:  Women are nuts, sexism is logical and Hitler was a girl gone REALLY wild.