What do you get when you mix two rollergirls, two fans and two little red wagons?  You get a ton of fun!  From the AZRD Charity Bout on December 13, 2008.

Keep up with Arizona derby at
http://az.derbydata.com

with derby love...
Michi-chan
=m

Arizona Roller Derby finished out 2008 with a very fun bout.  This bout was their annual holiday charity event which benefits the Arizona Law Enforcement and Fire Emerald Society, a statewide organization that supports first responders and their families. 

Both teams took on different themes of first responders and some took on alter identities for tonight's fun event.  The Hose Draggers was themed after fire fighters.  This team included Diana Saurus Wrexx as captain along with Psycho Sybil (as Sybil Disobedience), Diabolique, Rayna Rage (as Rayna Fire), Certified Luna Chick, Loco Lena, Rum Bunctious (as Hot Rumba) and others.  The Street Beaters was a police themed team with Shirley Demise as captain and her posse for the night Chachi Patron (as Rosa Palma), Messy Missy, Jugs Bunny, Shedonist, Bonesetter and others.

Despite the heavy promotion being done by both AZRD and Michi-chan's REAL Derby, any expected grudge match between Hose Dragger Holly Would and Street Beater Messy Missy would not take place as Holly Wood fell ill prior to the bout and did not skate.

Sick Girl as well as French Lyck who was in her traditional holiday wrapping skirt announced the event.

The first jam pits Street Beater Shirley Demise against "Fire Crotch" (Gratutious Violet) of the Hose Draggers.  Shirley would pick up the lead jam, picks up 2 points and calls it off.  The Beaters would dominate the first 4 jams by picking up lead jam with jammers Officer (Shirley) Demise, Domiskatrix, Bone Setter and Cut Throat.   In the 5th jam, Beater jammer The Siren would take a nice ride over the back of Dragger jammer Sticky Fingers.  The refs call off this jam early and call a time out.  So far, the game has been fairly low scoring with the Beaters up 12-6.  Fire Crotch would pick up the first Dragger lead jam against Domiskatrix, 14-7 Beaters.

About midway into the period is when the fun begins.  All of the referees are sent to the penalty box.  The skaters are all alone out there with no one but a jam timer free to do whatever they want out there.  Other than just some graceful dancing by Bone Setter and one of her willing opponents.  Then the Beaters engage in a game of "pass the star" by flinging the jammer helmet panty back and forth between their skaters.  The panty would eventually hit the ground and get picked up by a Hose Dragger.   The Hose Draggers would close in on the lead but the Street Beaters are still out there 16-13.

With 17 minutes remaining, the refs are allowed out of their box and it's time to get serious again.  Raina Fire up against Cut Throat KC.  While Raina was trying to break on the outside, KC would sneak through and pick up the lead jam.  KC calls after both jammers do some significant damage and Raina closes the gap to one point, 19-18 Beaters.  With Diana Saurus Wrexx gamming against Domiskatrix, Diana would pick up the lead jam for the Hose Draggers and with 14:29 remaining in the period, we have a tie score 20-20.  Fire Crotch would come up against Bone Setter.  Bone Setter would go to the box for minors and Fire Crotch would do some damage.  Hose Draggers get the lead for the first time, 25-20.  The margin would widen for Hose Draggers but as we got close to the end of the period, the Beaters would start closing in.  With 4 minutes remaining and the score 36-34 Draggers, Domiskatrix would go up against Diana Saurus Wrexx.  Diana would slightly stumble but hangs on for a lead jam.  Domiskatrix would break through not far behind.  Diana would pick up 2 and call.  38-34, Draggers.  In the second to last jam of the period, The Siren would take a pretty nasty stumble over Raina Fire in turn-2,  Messy Missy goes to the box.  The Street Beaters would take back the lead 48-38 as we go into the final jam.  Sticky Fingers and Fire Crotch would go to the line and skate the final jam for the full two minutes.  Score at the half, 48-38 Street Beaters.

If you thought a few jams of the first period was going to be all the fun, just wait for the halftime show.  A few fun events were done.  And they were done for points!

For the first time in awhile, the little red wagons were brought out for a classic AZRD wagon race (also known in some leagues as "Radio Flyer").  Two fans were chosen to ride in the wagons.  Commanding the wagons will be Sybil Disobedience (Psycho Sybil) for the Hose Draggers and Officer (Shirley) Demise for the Street Beaters.  Both skaters and their wagons get off to a good start but Shirley's wagon gets away from her in turn-2.  Sybil successfully makes the first lap while Shirley's wagon tips sending her fan screaming as she flys off the wagon.  Sybil loses her fan in turn-2.  Sybil would bring her wagon (with fan) to victory in the second lap while Shirley was still huffing on the backstretch. 

The halftime would continue with a no rules match race that would pit Patty Waggin' on the Street Beaters against Loco Lena of the Hose Draggers.   Despite some track cutting by both skaters and a little physical contact, the Hose Draggers prevailed. 

Finally, fans were treated to a modified version of Queen of the Rink, a practice ritual that fans rarely ever see.  Normally, in Queen of the Rink, skaters try to take each other out and the last one standing is Queen of the Rink.  In this modified version, it's whichever team still has skaters standing in the end would be declared the Queen of the Rink and will get 5 points added to their score.  The Street Beaters would line up at the pivot line and the Hose Draggers would line up at the jammer line.  The match would boil down to a single Hose Dragger, Diabolique still standing but having to face 5 standing Street Beaters.  She would eventually get pushed out in turn-3 giving the Beaters the 5 points. 

In the halftime fun period, the Draggers would pick up 7 points and the Beaters would pick up 5.  Revised half time score, 53-45 Beaters.  The half time ceremonies would end with a nice dance number by Diabolique and some big ticket raffle items.

In the first jam of the second half, Cut Throat KC would take on Loco Lena.  Cut Throat would pick up the lead jam.  Loco Lena would get worked on very hard by pivot Bone Setter and after a little shoulder hit on the backstretch, Loco breaks late.  KC eventually calls it off.  After that jam and then another with Officer Demise, the Street Beaters take a commanding lead, 70-45.  In the next jam, Fire Crotch manages to lap the pack and pick up 4 more, 70-49 Beaters.  Then, Hose Dragger Raina Fire screams like a reign of fire through the pack, flying around the track then runs into trouble on her next pass through the pack.  She manages to pick up two.  70-51 Beaters. 

The two team captains would come to the line.  Officer Demise would pick up the lead jam for the Beaters then Diana would get blown to the box.  Shirley would get caught up with Fire Crotch in turn-3 and would call it off.  But despite that, damage was done.  77-51 Beaters.  Frenchie then announces that the next jam will be a reverse jam (skating in the clockwise direction) but first, the Draggers go on a penalty spree taking out their jammer and two blockers giving the Beaters a 5 on 2 advantage.  With 16 minutes remaining, the Dragger point drought continues while the Beaters continue to rack up, 89-51. 

Now it's time for some more fun!  This time, a reverse jam.  Skaters will now go in the clockwise direction.  While reverse skating is practiced, reverse jams are hardly ever done.  Diana Saurus Wrexx would take on Officer Demise.  Demise would pick up (reverse) lead jam and then take a spill in turn-4 (in the real world, turn-1).  No one scored on the reverse jam. 

The Street Beaters break the century mark with a solo jam by Cut Throat KC as the Beaters really widen the margin 105-62 with 6 minutes remaining.  The next jam would be a solo for the Hose Draggers and it's Loco Lena.  Loco Lena would take a spill in turn 4 with Messy Missy but then would eventually break through for a lead jam.

Another reverse jam.  This time, Certified Luna Chick be jamming for the Hose Draggers and Domiskatrix for the Street Beaters.  Certified Luna Chick would pick up the lead jam.  Domiskatrix takes a wild ride in real-world turn-4 but keeps her balance.  108-66 Beaters with 4:51 remaining.

With over 3 minutes remaining, the Hose Draggers send Joby Wan N Only to the line against the Beaters team captain.  Joby breaks through very clean for a nice lead jam but Shirley Demise was riding right on her.  112-80 going into the final jam.  The final jam will bring up Messy Missy for the Street Beaters against Fire Crotch for the Hose Draggers.  Both jammers break through together but it was Fire Crotch out first so she pick up the lead jam but Messy Missy stays right with her.  Missy gets knocked out into turn-4 by Diana Saurus Wrexx slowing down the Beaters widening of the margin.  With a slow moving pack, the jam and the bout would end with the Street Beaters over the Hose Draggers, 115-88. 

This bout was definitely a treat for the fans, the skaters and most importantly, raised money and awareness for a good cause. 

AZRD announced a travel team bout between the Tent City Terrors and the San Diego Derby Dolls Wildfires to be held at the Castle Sports Club on January 24, 2009.  Michi-chan Derby Love Tour schedule for 2009 is still tentative at this time.  We will try to make it.

More about the charity bout and AZRD on this Wednesday's MICHI ON ARIZONA DERBY! 

Thank you to AZRD for allowing our cameras in for the first time this season to cover this bout. 

ROSTERS

HOSE DRAGGERS:  Diana Saurus Wrexx (C) 5 // Hot Rumba (RUM Bunctious) "R" // Firecrotch (Gratuitous Violet) 142 // Sybil Disobedience (Psycho Sybil) 420 // Rayna Fire (Rayna Rage) 3 // Boxcar Bethy // Holly Would 411 (did not skate) // Yellow Fever // Diabolique 21 // Lace Oddity 79 // Sauce Box 9 // Joby Wan N ONLY // Certified Luna Chick 10

STREET BEATERS: Officer Demise (C) 26 // Sweet Candy Cannons // Gate Fever 187 // Rosa Palma (Chachi Patron) V8 // Dutch Bag // Messy Missy 57 // Jugs Bunny 36D // Sticky Fingers (Shedonist) 5 // Sweet Rookie Mustache 505 // Bonesetter 206 // Cut Throat KC // Domiskatrix Cat O'9 Tails // Patty Waggin' 505 // Shirley Demise 25 // Bail Bond Bunny 877-96-LEGAL // Bea Naughty 27 // The Siren 327

Michelle A. Eyre/Michi-chan
Mich-chan's REAL Derby
Arizona's Derby Report
OUR STATE.. OUR DERBY
http://az.derbydata.com

=m

"..ROLLER DERBY IS NOT A SPORT" so declares the Oregonian newspaper in Portland, who when asked by a friend of derby why the recently held WFTDA Northwest Knockdown nationals was not covered in the paper.  This was reported to us through a MySpace bulletin from the Oly Rollers of Olympia, WA. 

There has been a follow-up to this story posted at michichan.com

This all boils down to a lack of public education about TODAY'S roller derby.

Unfortunately, many people, especially sports writers, associate derby with it's television entertainment aspect of the bygone past.  In the old days when the image of the sport was tarnished in the eyes of many by staged fights (and I am talking about fights that are really portrayed as fights, not the "extended take downs" we have in today's independent derby), as well as off track "soap opera" drama and too many similarities to professional wrestling.  Let's not forget the alligator pit.  This is the only exposure that a majority of Americans have had to derby and this is what they remember.  

The burden is now on the WFTDA, OSDA and their member leagues to educate the public to clarify that today's roller derby, while still having some of the athletic aspects of the old game, is a totally new game.  Today's derby is with real people, amateurs (in the manner that we are not paid to skate) with real lives and what happens on track is not staged.  These teams are serious groups of girls (and guys) and do it for the love of the game and for the love of skating.

Hopefully, the new video game from Frozen Codebase will help expose today's flat track game to many people across the nation including those who are not near a current league to watch a live game.  Hopefully, WFTDA or OSDA will work harder to find some television exposure other than Mav-TV, a network with very little nationwide penetration and a very very niche market.  

Education is the key here.  AZRD has hit it right with their slogan "REAL WOMEN, REAL SPORT".  That's exactly what the WFTDA game is all about.  Where WFTDA needs to come up to bat here is working on improving the public image of flat track derby.  Perhaps bringing people on board who are not skaters but have the expertise to help educate the public.  WFTDA needs to make some major improvements to their website.  Maybe turn it into a site not just for the skaters and leagues but more importantly to the fans.   Real sports have real fans and WFTDA does need to improve in supporting those fans.  Outreach and education is everything here.

Hopefully by next year's Nationals, some progress will have been made.

My only other fear is that the new Drew Barrymore movie may overdramaticize the various off-track escapades of derby and set us back a few notches from being taken seriously by the mainstream media.  I feel in some ways, the "Rollergirls" A&E series did that too.

The Oregonian later clarified their statement by claiming that roller derby is not a sport that they cover.  In their statement, sports editor Mark Hester said "We cover those with the most interest with the most emphasis - by far - on football, basketball, baseball, soccer, track and cycling.  The last three don't receive much coverage in most newspapers, but we cover them because interest in Oregon is much higher than in most parts of the U.S.".   I still think that even though roller derby may not be ready for their box-scores, they should have at least had a mention since it was a special event and it took place in their community.  I am interested in hearing how the PDX area's broadcast media (TV and radio) handled things. 

 

HELL ON WHEELS
Speaking of movies, there will be a Phoenix screening of HELL ON WHEELS on Tursday, November 20 at 8PM at Chandler Cinemas, 2140 N. Arizona Av in Chandler.  Please join the Dames' Kamikaze Kiwi aka the Midnite Movie Mamacita for this special showing and support Chandler Cinemas at the same time.

RENEGADES AND DAMES
The other night's game between the Renegade Rollergirls and Arizona Derby Dames definitely has topped the list of the most intense derby games I have ever seen (the February, 2008 Tucson vs. Texas bout had this title until the other night).  With a final score of 15-0 in favor of the Dames, I only wished the game had a little more substance where it came to the score.  Regardless, this demonstrated what I said on the last episode of REAL Derby.  The Dames were looking forward to using this bout to finally unleash themselves without the fear of penalties.   While the Dames may have won the game, the real winners of this bout were the Renegades and it was not because of how they played, but the fact of how they presented an exciting game to a warehouse full of what was obviously a lot of Dames fans and rollervirgins (those who have never seen a bout before).  With the right promotion, I am hoping that these fans stick with the Renegades as well as the Dames.  As long as the Renegades try to keep their events to Friday night, then this will work out. The Renegades have a good thing going and more people need to discover it and I hope they do.  My heart will always have a little Renegade in it.

MORE DAMES!
The AZDD has released their Season 4 2009 schedule!  Like last year, there will be 5 teams and 5 regulation doubleheader bout nights.  Like last year, the Coffin Draggers will get the bye on the final bout night, which in some ways, may put them in a disadvantage if we end up with a tight race at the end of the season.  I really think they should have given the Bombshells the bye this time around.  This year, they will also have a "battle for bronze", a third place bout on championship night.  This season's schedule is being held in the supersized Veteran's Memorial Coliseum.   Mark your calendars and demand vacation days for the following:
1/31 - Mini-tournament season opener
2/28 - Bombshells v Draggers / Beauties v Brides (MUST SEE!)
4/4 - Bombshells v Scrappers / Beauties v Draggers
5/9 - Brides v Bombshells / Draggers v Scrappers
6/13 - Scrappers v Beauties (MUST SEE!) / Draggers v Brides
7/11 - Beauties v Bombshells / Brides v Scrappers (MUST SEE!)
8/22 - Semi-finals
9/19 - Battle for Bronze / Championship Bout
Due to the conflicts between myself and the Dames management, I will not be at AZDD bouts this year unless given the green light by their management.  I hope we can someday clear these issues but for now, I will honor their wishes.

JAMMERS TO WATCH IN 2009
I have had a chance to go around to the various leagues over the past couple of months to get a taste of what they have to offer and here's who I will be keeping an eye on for 2009:

AZDD - ELLIE MAYHEM:  During the Dames/Renegades bout, Ellie was definitely fun to watch.  She even looked like an Ellie Mae with the blonde pigtails and all.  But she was also very fast and agile and was able to put up with everything that the Renegades dished out.  I believe this is the same girl who skated last year for the Brides using the name "TBD 1".  Regardless, I think that Ellie is going to be a driving force for the 2009 Runaway Brides.  Thrash is lucky to have her.

AZRD - ANGELA DARKNESS:  I have had the privilege of seeing two bouts where Angela Darkness was jamming.  First, it was the September bout where she played for the Bruisers and then last weekend where she played as a fill-in for the Brawlarinas.  From what I was told, she is a former speed skater who came over to derby.  She has the speed an agility that derby needs.  While she contributed to the Brawlies in their victory, her skills were more notable during the September bout when she played for the Bruisers.  The only thing she really needs to work on is staying out of the box when jamming.  Overall, she's a great addition to AZRD and I hope she finds her way to the TCTs.

TRD - SKELETOR: At first you wonder, why the name Skeletor???   I don't know.  When I think of Skeletor, I think of Castle Graystone, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe cartoons.  But I had a chance to see TRD's Skeletor jamming at the recent expo bout at DMAFB.  Like Angela and Ellie, she definitely has the agility and was able to manage the pack very well.  The best news of all is that she will be playing on the Furious Truckstop Waitresses, my favorite TRD team (especially now since Helen Wheels is on the Iron Curtain).  I am looking forward to a great 2009 TRD season, but please, that name???

RENEGADES - EVERYONE: For the RRG, I really can't pick one skater out because I think that all of the skaters who jam for the Renegades are awesome.  This league has some of the best trained skaters and spending that time in the bowls at the skate parks here in Phoenix is really paying off.  

NATIONALS
I have said it before and I will say it again, we can sum up the Nationals with only one word, "GOTHAM".  This year's was one wild tournament.  I am glad to see Gotham win but I would have loved to have seen them up against Texas.  A special congratulations goes out to Duke City Derby who was the total longshot coming into this tourney and they did the best they could over Gotham.  Hopefully, Muffin, Sabrosa and the other Munecas won the afterparty!  

BRATS
This Sunday, please join me at Bladeworld for the Tucson Derby Brats bout.  The Injustice League will play the Natural Disasters.  This is the future of derby, folks!  For only $5, you can see this future.  Please make plans on Sunday to be there.  

Well derby fans, that's it for now.  We'll see you at the Brats or at AZRD in December.  I will hopefully have some 2009 DLT dates here pretty soon.

with derby love...
Michi-chan
=m

http://www.michichan.com

(opinions are those of Michelle herself and do not reflect the opinion of any affiliated association.)

(CC)2008 Michi-chan Rollersports Productions - article may be distributed through Creative Commons share-alike attribution licensing.  Photos are copyrighted (C) 2008 MCRSP and are used here with permission of the photographer.

The Castle Sports Club was cooking with derby again as Arizona Roller Derby's scheduled November attracted a crowd of a couple of hundred fans including a lot of fans new to the sport.

Holly Would and Hacker Too Pieces and their 0-1 Brawlarinas would go up against Hookerella and the rest of the 0-1 Surly Gurlies.

The Brawlies would come out screaming scoring points in the first 6 jams including a grand slam by Bruiser skater Angela Darkness, loaned to the Brawlarinas due to a roster shortage. The Surly Gurlies would not score until the 7th jam when Dark Agenda flys on the outside for a lead jam. Brawla jammer Bone Setter would eventually break and Dark Agenda calls off the jam. 31-5 Brawlarinas.

With 9:05 remaining 43-7 Brawlarinas, Gratuitous Violet jamming for the Surly Gurlies would spill in turn 4 and then be sent to the box. Brawla jammer Angela Darkness would pick up the lead jam. With the advantage of a Brawla power-jam, the former speed skater took herself through for a triple grand slam (15 points) growing the margin even more for the tutus, 58-7. In the next jam, Certified Luna Chick would jam for the Brawlas against the Surly's Dark Agenda. Hacker Too Pieces would stay all over Dark Agenda while Luna Chick breaks through for a lead jam. Dark Agenda would eventually get blown to the box, 61-7 Brawlie lead. The period would end on a Surly solo-jam due to a false start by the Brawlies. Surlies would pick up 9, but the Brawlarinas still has a commanding lead, 66-17.

During halftime, announcer Sick Girl flipped a coin and it was determined that the night's penalty queens RUMbunctious for the Surly Gurlies and the Brawlarinas' Holly Would would engage in a two lap no-rules match race. Despite some track cutting, the winner of the match race Holly Would. As a result, the fans were given a chance to interact with the game by particpating in a pink cheek alley with RUMbunctious the lucky recipient of the said pinkness.

The second half would start with French Lyck of the Brawlarinas jamming against Vixen Tequla. Frenchie would break first but not get the lead jam. Vixen would eventually break and get lead jam and then calls holding Frenchie back to one point, 67-17. A couple of jams later, the Surlys show their first sign of a comeback with Luna Chick jamming against Dark Agenda. Agenda manages to get a lead jam and promptly calls off, 78-25. In the 8th jam with French Lyck against Gratuitous Violet, Frenchie gets a lead jam and then called to the box. Gratuitous would eventually break and pick up lead jam. Other penalties would result in 3 Brawlies in the box. Violet would eventually lap twice for a double grand slam. Frenchie re-enters the jam and immediately calls off the jam to stop the bleeding. Surlies start to close in 93-46. With 3:32 remaining and the Brawlies up 116-57, Bone Setter and Gratuitous Violet would have some fun in this jam. Bone would break first but it would be Violet that gets the lead jam and then eventually find her way into the box. 124-57 final jam, Gratuitous Violet still out there jamming, this time against A Whacks Queen. The Surly jammer would go on a scoring bonanza lapping the pack three times for a triple grand slam. The game would finish on a 2-minute natural ending. The scoring spree was not enough to beat the Brawlies but it was an exciting end to an already exciting bout. Final score, 124-72, Brawlarinas.

With this win, the Brawlarinas stay in 3rd place at 1-1 but they pull out of the negative point spread rut. Surlies stay in 4th place with a 0-2 record:

Place- Team-B-W-L PF-PA Dif Avg
1- Bad News Beaters-1-1-0 144-81 63 63
2- Bruisers-1-1-0 106-58 48 48
3- Brawlarinas-2-1-1 182-178 4 2
4- Surly Gurlies-2-0-2 153-268 -115 -76.5

MICHI-CHAN'S REAL DERBY
Arizona's Derby Report
http://www.michichan.com

=m

While the rest of the derby world was watching Texas overtake Carolina and Gotham steamroll over Duke City, a crowd of about 300 Phoenix area derby fans came to witness history in the making as for the first time, two Phoenix area leagues competed against each other.  

The Arizona Renegade Rollergirls took on an all-star line-up from the Arizona Derby Dames.  The bout was played at the Renegades' venue and in the Renegade no-rules format.  

The bout would open up with the Renegades' T-Wrexx jamming against Runaway Brides' star jammer Stilhetto Wheels.   Stilhetto manages to break but double-team defense by Renegade rookies Lusty Crush and Aurora Glory Alice at the whistle kept the Dames from their first three points.  (In the Renegade format, the team scores 3 points each time the jammer laps the pack.)  In a later jam, it was mayhem vs. mayhem when Dames' rookie jammer Ellie Mayhem and Mayhemily kept going after each other for the duration of the jam.   Ellie being blocked by Mayhemily would grab her and push her into the frontstretch infield.  By turn-2, Mayhemily would try to take down Ellie,  Mayhemily would give a cheap shot to the head on the outer backstretch support column.  But that was not it.  Ellie would then take a whip off of a teammate and pull down Mayhemily from behind, but Mayhemily was ready for it.  A little grabbing took place right against the turn 1/2 crowd as Mayhemily wanted more while Ellie was trying to pull away to score.  Only the whistle to signify the end of the jam stopped this little war of mayhem.  In a later jam, Coffin Dragger Ginger Mortis would take out Hellbent Heather in turn 2.  Mayhemily would join into the dogpile. (See picture in article)  Somewhere in all of the mayhem, one of the Dames jammers was able to score 3 points (Renegades do not use stars for their jammers) and the period ends 3-0.

Second period would open up with T-Wrexx going to the line against Ellie Mayhem.  Ellie would push T-Wrexx out of the way.  T-Wrexx would get winded by the backstretch outside support column.  Nacho Girlfriend would come up to jam for the Dames and no matter what, she could not get by that strong Renegade defense (cutting the track by the blockers is allowed in Renegades).  Like in the last period, someone picked up 3 points, 6-0 Dames at the end of the second period.  After the period, an off-track dispute would take place between Mayhemily and an unidentified non-skating Dame to the point that Mayhemily took her skates off.  From the reports we had received, the confrontation appeared to have been due to some alleged heckling from the sidelines by the Dames' skater towards Mayhemily.

The third period would begin with Red Rocker trying to attempt to hump Mayhemily.  Mayhemily would kick away and eventually ref interaction kept the hump from happening.  A few jams later, KC Karrnage wanted a shot at Rocker.  In the next jam, Renegade Mad-as-Sin, returning from a long absense from the track has a short scuffle with Lora Stabbs.  As derby fans, if we learned anything from the Renegade Rollergirls tonight, is that when you are sitting in the front row, do not put your purse in front of you.  A fan learned that when Magnum took a spill in the crowd in turn-3.  Her skate would catch on to a fan's handbag and she would try to skate away with the bag attached.  The jam was called right at that time.  In the next jam, T-Wrexx and Nacho Girlfriend would collide in turn 2.  Nacho would remain on the ground while on-site EMTs tend to her injury.  The game would end on a called jam about 10 seconds in (Renegades do have lead jammers) as the celebration at the Dames bench begins.  Somewhere in all of the scuffle, the Dames manage to score 9 more points for a final score of 15-0, Dames over the Renegades.  

This was a very highly publicized bout which included a full page ad in the New Times.  In my opnion, the Arizona Derby Dames gave the Arizona Renegades their first loss of the year but also gave them a taste of their fan base.  I surely hope that many of the Dames fans who came tonight as well as those who saw the ad in the New Times and were at a bout for the very first time, stay.  For those rollervirgins who have never seen derby before, it can't get more extreme than this and still be REAL Derby.   REAL Derby thanks the Renegades for inviting us into their house for this monumental event.  

MICHI-CHAN'S REAL DERBY
Arizona's Derby Report
http://www.michichan.com

Michi-chan video from last Friday night's Renegade Rollergirls bout.  Enjoy!!

=m

Brutal Beauties' dogpile a Bombshell skater during final jam.

PHOENIX, AZ - July 12, 2008 - Additional chairs were brought into the Castle Sports Club in anticipation of a higher than usual sales of presale tickets. The Arizona Derby Dames did sell out the house and those who were lucky to get in were in for two major treats. In the evening's doubleheader, the number 1 ranked Brutal Beauties will defend their 3-season undefeated record against the substantial underdog number 5 Bombshells while the School Yard Scrappers will take on this year's expansion team, The Runaway Brides to determine in a match that will determine positioning for the semi-final bout on September 20.

While both bouts were very exiciting, the mix of the cooling system inside the Castle Sports Club as well as the summer monsoon season here in Arizona had made for a very hot and sticky environment inside the Castle, especially for fans who decided to sit on the rink level. By the time that the second half of the Beauties vs. Bombshells bout started, many fans have moved to the area behind the glass or have left the facility. Those who left, definitely missed out on two very exciting second halves.

This doubleheader did feature the bouting debut of the recently drafted fresh meat skaters including several girls from the former Arizona Bruisers/Phoenix City Rollers.

Brutal Beauties enter the track to defend their undefeated status.

BRUTAL BEAUTIES VS. BOMBHSELLS

In this bout, the Brutal Beauties were very heavily favored. The AZDR predicted that the Beauties would win by 80-100. The Brutal Beauties had introduced new skaters Boutin and Nurse Ratchet, formerly of the Arizona Bruisers. We also saw the return of Marci De Sade, who recently gave birth. The Bombshells introduce several new skaters including Rough Rider, Pocket Beaner, Sho'Nuff and former Arizona Bruiser, Nacho Girlfriend.

FIRST HALF

The first half was dominated by the Beauties and was reminicent to previous Bombshell bouts this year. In the first jam, we saw the AZDD debut of Bombshell jammer Nacho Girlfriend. Despite being teamed up on by Madam and Red Rocker, Nacho was able to score 4 however Celeste, jamming for the Beauties was able to answer those 4 points.

Despite the 4-4 tie after the first jam, it started to go in the direction of the Beauties. In the next jam, Beauty jammer Rogue Kill manages to score 7 points while Bombshell Prima Donna gets knocked into the Bombshell bench then Beauty Co-Captain Sally Whacker breezes through to break and score 7 while Bombshell Joja Peach meets a pink wall named Madam. Celeste will then ride for another 3 points leaving Shell jammer Hippies Revenge in the dust. Red Rocker gives Pocket Beaner her initiation into the Dames by showing why she is known as the "Brutal Blocker". 21-4, Beauties.

With 9 minutes remaning in the half, Rogue Kill is up against Bombshell co-captain Alkaline Trina. Rogue manages to get the first lead jam of the game. Rogue calls off the jam but her 4 points were answered by Trina making it now 25-8, Beauties. Sally Whacker then breaks outside very early in the jam and scores 8. Due to an adjustment, another 4 points are added to the Beauties score making it 37-8.

Ex-Bruiser Nacho Girlfriend would get into a jammer-fight with Celeste. After a little scuffle, the jam continues and Nacho outjams Celeste 5-2 slightly closing the margin. That small margin won't last for too long as in the next jam, Rogue Kill will come screaming through while Bombshell jammer Prima Donna rode the rear for most of the jam. 48-13, Beauties.

In a couple of fairly clean jams, Sally Whacker and Celeste would add another 5 and 9 points respectively while Joja Peach was able to break but not score. Nacho would come back in the last jam to add another point for the Bombshells. Score at the half, 62-14.

The first half consisted of pretty much clean jams.

SECOND HALF

The second half would start with the AZDD jamming debut of ex-Bruiser Nurse Ratchet and she gives the Beauty fans something to celebrate about, a 12 point jam over Alkaline Trina. In the next jam, Beauty captain Kamikaze Kiwi was covering Bombshell jammer and team captain, Gabrihella Gauntlet very well while Rogue Kill gets the lead jam, scores 4 and calls it off. It's now 78-14, Beauties. Then for the Beauties, Mami Chula would break through passing Rough Rider, getting lead jam and then would fly down the inside on one skate just to stay in-bounds and manages to pick up a 10 point jam to Hippies Revenge could not break. 88-14, Beauties.

The 4th jam would pit Nurse Ratchet against Prima Donna. Very early in the jam, Red Rocker gives veteran skater Jugger Naughty a "welcome back" present by humping her on the backstretch. A ref collision in turn 2 would eventually end the jam but damage was done. Prima Donna outscores Ratchet 5-3 thus slightly narrowing the margin to 72 points. It's now 91-19, Beauties.

Bombshell jammer Joja Peach with Celeste's hair ribbons and Celeste trying to get them back.

In a somewhat comical moment in the game, jammer Joja Peach grabs Celeste's trademark hair ribbons. Obviously, this made Celeste a little upset and derby fans in turns 3 and 4 were treated to Celeste trying to get her ribbons back. Rogue Kill takes advantage of the moment and scores 8. The margin is now at 80, 99-19, Beauties. Confusion entailed in the next jam as when the jammer whistle was blown, Hippies Revenge stopped mid-jam and seemed to be confused or concerned about something. The jam was called by the refs. No explanation was given to the fans (or none that we could hear).

In a sudden burst of mysterious power, the Bombshells would start making a comeback to try to at least narrow the margin. In the "do-over" of the last bout, only three Beauties were on the track for a portion of the jam. This lead to Hippies Revenge taking advantage of the moment and giving the Bombshells their first two-handed jam of the night by scoring 10. Rogue Kill would then come back with a vengence in the next jam by scoring 15 points thanks in part to a great leg-whip by Celeste. Long time Derby Dame Phyllis Killer would then come to the like for the Pinks and picks up 5 points over Gabi's 2. Then, Nurse Ratchet would slick the inside line to score some of her 8 points on that jam. Hippie's Revenge would pick up 3 on that jam. 127-38, Beauties (89 point margin).

Red Rocker at the jammer line against Joja Peach.

The second to the last jam gave me the impression that some thought it was the final jam. We had several extended take downs including Heidi Salami vs. Nacho Girlfriend, Jugger Naughty vs. Mami Chula and additional ones on the frontstretch and turn 2. Despite that, the jamming was out in full force and both Heidi Salami and Prima Donna managed to score 11. 138-49, Beauties.

In what seems like a Brutal Beauties tradition, Red Rocker is sent to the jammer line for the pinks. She goes up against Joja Peach. After a false start that almost happened, several of the Beauty skaters are involved in a dog pile. Rocker continues to jam for awhile and eventually joins the group. Joja took advantage of that major opportunity to score some additional points. With many of the Beauties in "easy target to score by" mode, the rookie was able to get 17 points, the best jam in this bout.

Mami Chula is handed the flag to celebrate another Brutal Beauty victory.

Final score 140-66, Brutal Beauties. Beauties win by 74. With this win, the Brutal Beauties clinch the first place seed and will play the loser of the Scrappers vs. Brides bout in September.

BRUTAL BEAUTIES
JAMMERS (points): Rogue Kill (47), Sally Whacker (24), Nurst Ratchet (23), Celeste (18), Heidi Salami (11), Mami Chula (10), Phyllis Killer (5), Red Rocker (2).
ALSO SKATING: Boutin, Brighteyes, Kamikaze Kiwi, Madam, Marci De Sade, Sharon Fists, Shawnee Rotten.

BOMBSHELLS
JAMMERS (points): Prima Donna (17), Joja Peach (17), Hippies Revenge (13), Nacho Girlfriend (10), Alkaline Trina (8), Gabrihella Gauntlet (2).
ALSO SKATING: Evol Starr, Hellvis Presley, Jugger Naughty, Kestha Floor, Onyx, Pocket Beaner, Rough Rider, Sho'nuff.

(Stats are unofficial based on video and eyewitness accounts of the game.)

Rowdy Roulette and her team getting ready to "school" the Runaway Brides

SCHOOL YARD SCRAPPERS VS. RUNAWAY BRIDES

This is a very important bout as it will determine the positioning of the second and third place teams. The winner of this bout will go on to play the Coffin Draggers in the Semi-finals while the loser will have to face the undefeated Brutal Beauties and beat them in order to have any hopes for winning the championship. In this bout, the Brides introduce a black uniform shirt as not to clash with the traditional Scrapper white school shirts. The Scrappers welcome their new skaters Hillary Skank, Pretty Plz and two ex-Arizona Bruisers, Cruella DeMille and Mizz Nashty. The Brides bring on several new skaters Killin Mae Smallz and Cori, who has not had their skate name approved yet. Her uniform reads "TBD #1" we will refer to her as just "TBD", which according to Bride captain Ann Thrash may become her permanent name if it sticks.

FIRST HALF

The first half starts with Perfecta Kill for the Scrappers against Vanessa Velocity. Vanessa manages to get lead jam, picks up a couple of points and calls it off. 2-1, Brides.

Rowdy and the refs tend to fallen skater Rollie Frijole.

In the second jam, we see the debut of TBD as a jammer for the Brides as well as the jamming debut of former Arizona Bruiser jammer Mizz Nashty. Nash's jamming debut was overshadowed by teammate and fan favorite Rollie Frijole going down on the backstretch. The refs eventually stop the jam as Scrapper captain Rowdy Roulette speeds over to tend to her. After getting her skates off, she tries to stand up and collapses. She is eventually carried off the rink to applause from not just the "Rollie Frijole section" but from the entire Castle. Multiple reports to the AZDR post-game state that Rollie has a torn ACL. We wish her a speedy recovery and hope she can come back to derby someday. Before the jam was called, TBD was able to pick up 5 points. 7-1, Brides.

Both teams manage to hold the margin pretty close in the next several jams. In the third jam, Rowdy picks up 2 points while Lex Mosh picks up 4, both jammers take spills on different parts of the track along the way. With Perfecta Kill going against Mighty Menace, the Menace was downed by Kat Von Double D while Perfecta breaks the pack. Perfecta picks up 5 while Menace manages to pick up 4. 15-8, Brides.

Despite the incident that took place during her debut jam, Mizz Nashty goes to the line again, this time against Skatish Bagfights. Nash manages to get lead jam and calls it off as Skatish starts scoring points. Skatish was still able to get 3. Mizz Nashty stays in for the next jam against another Bride ace jammer, Vanessa Velocity. This time Vanessa gets the lead jam. Lolo is hit hard into turn 3. Vanessa calls of the jam as Nashty approaches the pack. Each skater scores one. 19-9, Brides.

Both teams are still holding the margin and the Scrappers stay within one great jam of taking a lead on the Brides. In the next jam, Rowdy Roulette takes the line against TBD and scores 3 to TBD's 2 points. During the jam, Dee Tox gives Hillary Skank a push in the back in turn 3. The turn 3 penalty ref called her but she did not appear to leave for the box. Perfecta Kill would eventually close the margin slighly by scoring 5 over Lex Mosh with 4 in a fairly clean jam.

Mizz Nashty comes back to the line, this time against Mighty Menace. Nash breaks and does not manage to score. The Menace picks up 7. After the jam, Lolo comes out of the backstretch and charges at Vanessa Velocity. After this extended takedown in the upper infield, Lolo is sent to the box. Mighty Menace's 7 point jam widens the margin to 15 points, the widest in this whole game. Rowdy would go up against Skatish Bagfights. Rowdy would get lead jam and both jammers end up scoring 4 points maintaining the margin. 36-21, Brides.

Bride Vanessa Velocity being pulled away from a very upset Lolo.

The Scrappers would make a huge comeback in the next jam as Perfecta Kill sweeps Vanessa Velocity by scoring 9 points. Prior to that jam beginning, Lolo comes up as a blocker in this jam. For whatever reason, she was ejected for the rest of the half. In the final jam of the half, Mizz Nashty would manage to score 4 and TBD would pick up 5. Fawn Del Mee and TBD would be involved in a post-jam extended take down.

Score at the half, 41 to 34, Runaway Brides.

SECOND HALF

The second half would begin with Perfecta Kill going against Vanessa Velocity. In a pretty clean jam, both teams score 2 and hold the margin. The next bout would pit Mizz Nashty against TBD again. Nash picks up the lead jam and she gets her first extended take down at the hands of Ann Thrash. Nash eventually gets up and calls the jam. Some of the skaters kept going until the scoreboard buzzer stopped them. When the dust settled, TBD would sweep Nashty by picking up 6. 49-36, Brides.

Rowdy manages to get lead jam and score while Hate'cha Face and Fawn Del Mee double team on Lex Mosh keeping her from breaking. The next jam would send Perfecta Kill to the line against Mighty Meance. Perfecta would find herself in turn 4 in an extended take down with no other than Ann Thrash. Perfecta Kill is sent to the box but solo jammer Mighty Menace was not able to pick up any points. The fifth jam was a golden opportunity for the ruffled girls to widen the margin again as Ska Tish Bagfights is out jamming solo. She manages to score 1 point. Pretty Plz lands a nice hit on Ann Thrash to help her jammer Rowdy Roulette through. The Brides' Vanessa Velocity manages to pick up 2. 52-40, Brides.

Brides' rookie "TBD #1" (left)

TBD does a nice break on the inside and it nets her 4 points to Perfecta Kill's 2. 56-42, Brides.

The 7th time is a charm and Mizz Nashty is unleashed and shows signs of her old Bruiser day. Nash picks up lead jam and takes a 9 point jam, some by squeezing through Bride blocker and team-captain Ann Thrash. Nash helps close the margin very close to 5. 56-51, Brides.

The Scrappers brings veteran skater Hot Head Lucy. She gets swept by DeeTox and Lucy goes down in turn 2. Menace picks up 4. Then in a clean jam, Ska Tish Bagfights gets 5 more points to widen the margin.

Final jam and Mizz Nashty is given one more time. The Scrappers are 11 points down. She gets 2 points to Vanessa Velocity's 3. After the bout, the two team captains (Rowdy Roulette and Ann Thrash) do an extended takedown.

Final score, 66-54, Brides.

SCHOOL YARD SCRAPPERS
JAMMERS (points): Perfecta Kill (25), Mizz Nashty (16), Rowdy Roulette (13), Hot Head Lucy (0).
ALSO SKATING: Cruella DeMille, Fawn Del Mee, Frankie Fitz, Hate'cha Face, Kat Von Double D, Lolo, Pretty Plz, Rollie Frijole.

Runaway Brides will take on the Coffin Draggers in September

RUNAWAY BRIDES
JAMMERS (points): TBD (22), Mighty Menace (13), Ska Tish Bagfights (13), Vanessa Velocity (10), Lex Mosh (8).
ALSO SKATING: A. Malicious, Ann Thrash, Dee Tox, Dirty Martini, Gwen Steponya, Killin Mae Smallz.

(Stats are unofficial based on video and eyewitness accounts of the game.)

With the Brides win over the Scrappers, the stage has been set for the semi-finals on September 20. The (1) Brutal Beauties will take on the (3) School Yard Scrappers and the (2) Runaway Brides will take on the (4) Coffin Draggers. The winners of these two bouts will play each other on October 11 for the AZDD Championship.

In the meantime, the AZDD travel team, the Lady Lux will be playing a Rollercon scrimmage against the Silicon Valley Rollergirls on August 1 and then a team to be announced at the Castle in Phoenix on Saturday, August 23.

THE ARIZONA DERBY REPORT
Michelle A. Eyre/Michi-chan
http://www.michichan.com

The Scrappers and the Draggers as well as Michi-chan got hit pretty hard last night.  Here are the final scores from roller derby last night!

ARIZONA DERBY DAMES

School Yard Scrappers 49
Brutal Beauties 109

Coffin Draggers 43
Runaway Brides 96

Standings remain the same:
1. Scrappers (2-1-296)
2. Brides (2-0-257)
3. Beauties (2-0-231)
4. Draggers (0-3-131)
5. Bombshells (0-2-70)

ARIZONA ROLLER DERBY

AZRD Tent City Terrors 53
Rocky Mtn. Rollergirls 5280 Fight Club 76

Congrats to all of the teams. BotGirl and I had a ton of fun at AZDD last night.  (*^u^*)

With derby love...
Michi-chan
=m